What if everything you experience is exactly as you intended, or rather your soul intended? Over the past thirty years I reaized that what I came to do on this earth plane was to recognise how the soul’s human journey is pre-destined from the emotional and spiritual perspective. Evolving my consciousness was the soul’s plan and that meant of course, that I had to experience the level of consciousness that I was born into in order to evolve it.
From the moment we, as consciousness, are attached to the womb of our mothers and throughout our lives, we have a series of experiences that physically and emotionally cause a belief about ourselves or others to be imprinted in our bodies. Once these beliefs are embedded, we as “co-creators and co-conspirators” invent scenarios to solidify and validate these beliefs. Mostly it is out of these beliefs that we create our reality and unless “jolted awake” through a life-altering circumstance, we continue to live our lives only half awake. Of course, it is really not possible. We are meant to play our part, both passively and aggressively to provide experiences for each other whether we realize it or not. And I have found that the most challenging partners are those who are our greatest catalysts to shift us to our next level of consciousness and healing for ourselves and others.
My earliest memory is actually as a seed of consciousness having left what I will call Source, and not yet attached to my mother’s womb. In that moment before attachment, the energetic feeling was of great fear – a fear that I was unsafe, alone and unsupported. As I then grew into human form, I had many more experiences that validated these feelings and beliefs which wove an invisible thread of “reality” throughout my life. My soul and human work was to join in consciousness with others who also experienced these fabricated beliefs and dissolve and evolve through them into a higher consciousness – the larger soul’s collective vision, to evolve humanity’s consciousness to its next level.
In my own soul’s progression, the life experiences I had in the first 14 years of my life were so horrific to deal with, that the awake and sensitive being that I was, had to separate and compartmentalize these experiences, locking them away until I could eventually re-open those feelings and process them in a safe and loving environment. It wasn’t until my daughter’s birth that I was able to do this with a kind and gentle husband who knowingly or not, held the space for the integration of my early wounds.
It was in this second phase of my life journey that the next major belief system and identity was set in place for my soul and human journey. And this time I could remember its inception much more easily. I was in the hospital giving birth to my daughter and after 20 plus hours of labor, it was decided to take the baby through a C-Section which meant cutting into my body above the pubic bone and removing her – a viseral imprint on my body and psyche that “something was wrong with me”. It was through this experience, that I not only took on the identity of mother but also of healer and where I would eventually pull away from listening to outside authority and find the healing pathways back to myself. This physical process and resulting belief embedded deeply in my womb was necessary for the healer part of my nature to emerge and I would do “the work” that was necessary for my evolution. It was this healer identity seeded by the belief “that something was wrong with me” that I have embodied for the past 30 years. I dug deep into my human psyche to uncover all that I had absorbed as “truth” – that I was alone, unloved, unsupported, odd, didn’t belong, stupid, bad, etc. And the list went on as all the family and cultural conditioning to conform to a particular way of thinking and acting began to unravel itself.
This week as I was meditating, I felt a strong pain in the area where my C-Section was and as I tuned into it, realized that I was at the end of a long phase of healing this belief that “something was wrong with me” and as I placed my love and attention to it, I called in Spirit to help me resolve this old belief – that it had served its purpose and could now dissolve into my being. I no longer needed to be the “wounded healer” and could now, without my own attachments, access a deeper, wider and higher love and presence for myself and others.
I could not have done this without a physical “womb of safety” given to me by a dear friend as well as a co-creative client who was able to present her own belief so similiar to mine. And this is what we do for each other! What I experience might be very different from you but the feeling nature and the beliefs that evolve from them are similiar, if not the same. And when we have the privilege of communing with another who is also open and transparent, allowing vulnerability to be the operating system between us, magic and healing happens and a return to self love becomes the dominant system flowing through our lives.
With all our relationships, I believe vulnerability and transparency are the keys to understanding, compassion and ultimately peace with each other. My fervent wish is that more of us can be present and conscious of that part of our nature that knows ALL is for our personal and collective good and that there is a greater mission for the whole of humanity; that there is no enemy but ourselves and that the journey wherever it takes us, is provided by us and those soul-partners who have agreed to our sacred vow to transcend the limitations of our human conditioning and return to a state of love and acceptance for all people, all beings, all ways!